What does it mean to want children? I think, often, of a strange conversation I had with a friend I had known for many years. In her early twenties she began dating a man significantly older than herself. Some time into their relationship – when she told me this, they had been dating for years – he indicated that he did not want children because of a health condition he would risk passing on. When she held a baby in her hands, she told me, she wanted to cry. But did that mean, she said, that she really wanted children? On the one hand, I think that one could ask for no more proof that she does; on the other hand, they have since moved in together, into a beautiful, small and affordable apartment; they travel constantly and seem to have a fine life. If she woke up pregnant tomorrow, I wonder how she would feel. What does it mean to want something you’ve never experienced? How can you be sure you don’t really want it?
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