Quick: What sounds worse than a knock-off Jason Bourne novel with all the excitement and unpredictability removed? If you guessed a boring knock-off Jason Bourne novel that is actually an awkward and unbelievable romance, then you've probably already read The Chemist, the second adult novel by Stephenie Meyer, better known as the author of the Twilight YA series. Erroneously described on the book jacket as a gripping page-turner, The Chemist takes all of the familiar spy thriller tropes — a government agent-turned-fugitive, an ill-advised romance, double-crosses, corruption that goes all the way to the top (does it ever just go to the middle?) — and combines them into a tasteless mélange that is both difficult to care about and easy to forget. The protagonist, mostly known as
